The Ornament of Sorrow - Vanaja Tatineni
I opened the box you gifted me, the one I had guarded so safely.
For four decades, through every hardship, through every loss,
I protected it with my life;
Inside, I found some old letters.
They were, unmistakably, my own.
When that doorway of memories opened, you engulfed me like a tidal wave.
The affection that flows like an underground river within me has not diminished by an iota,
but I will not forget that you are also the secret of my sorrow, enshrined in my heart.
In my youth, I became a waterfall, I was the waterfall itself, pouring out
the ecstasy of love that you drank with cupped hands, only to forget it with ease.
You desired it by the potful, and then you walked away.
You, who departed from me long ago, returned again as a guest.
Though volcanoes were erupting in my chest, I extended every courtesy.
In the end, you simply ended from my life.
So simply, that it was like...
the solitary, silent sorrow that exists for a few moments when the ocean rests.
Between my two hands, looking into my eyes, you ended.
Again... just like this,
Seeing these letters, this gift, a wildfire has reignited in my chest.
Agony overflows like boiling milk. There is no one to share it with.
There were many who threw stones, but none who gently caressed, with kindness,
the fathomless depth of a lifetime of anguish. Hm.
Again... I have hidden those letters, the box you gifted, in a secret shelf
and turned the key. I will open it again, someday.
When I feel like wearing the ornament of sorrow.
22 May 2026. 09:45 pm.
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